/ 10:43 AM

Solitary


The city skyline. The late afternoon grey sky. Clouds passing by. A sip of coffee. No one else, but me.

Exactly what I need after all these times of being bogged down by the cornucopia of work and the smothering grip of others.

Been having some real tough time as of late, in the sense that all I want to do is be on my own and do things at my own pace, and space, but circumstances seem to deter me from achieving this.

Being social has its good and bad. Pros and cons, just like every other thing. Being social makes me approachable and make others comfortable with me. Such that people find it easy to talk to me and share their thoughts and feelings with me. Sometimes to a point when it comes in excess where details and information are thrown my way that I never intended to seek nor digest that particular piece of detail. Right now, I am at a spot where I just want to isolate myself from all these drama, because some are not even mine to begin with, and just compartmentalise my thoughts, feelings and emotions and learn to filter out which are worth vocalising and which I would keep private.

Sometimes I just wish that I am like my other friends, like Farah, for example, who has such strong determination in her to keep things to herself that people respect her private and personal space. It's kind of known amongst our circle of friends that Farah is like that, that she's a solitary person and she values her own time and space. And people respect and acknowledge that about her. But the problem with being me is that I have always made myself 'out there', and I always seem 'available' in the eyes of others that I am constantly under the radar for others to seek. It has come to a point when this suffocates me and I want to untie whatever knot there is attached to me.

Maybe disappearing from the typical public spaces might enable me to regain my sense of independence once more. We'll see.

/ 10:43 AM

Solitary


The city skyline. The late afternoon grey sky. Clouds passing by. A sip of coffee. No one else, but me.

Exactly what I need after all these times of being bogged down by the cornucopia of work and the smothering grip of others.

Been having some real tough time as of late, in the sense that all I want to do is be on my own and do things at my own pace, and space, but circumstances seem to deter me from achieving this.

Being social has its good and bad. Pros and cons, just like every other thing. Being social makes me approachable and make others comfortable with me. Such that people find it easy to talk to me and share their thoughts and feelings with me. Sometimes to a point when it comes in excess where details and information are thrown my way that I never intended to seek nor digest that particular piece of detail. Right now, I am at a spot where I just want to isolate myself from all these drama, because some are not even mine to begin with, and just compartmentalise my thoughts, feelings and emotions and learn to filter out which are worth vocalising and which I would keep private.

Sometimes I just wish that I am like my other friends, like Farah, for example, who has such strong determination in her to keep things to herself that people respect her private and personal space. It's kind of known amongst our circle of friends that Farah is like that, that she's a solitary person and she values her own time and space. And people respect and acknowledge that about her. But the problem with being me is that I have always made myself 'out there', and I always seem 'available' in the eyes of others that I am constantly under the radar for others to seek. It has come to a point when this suffocates me and I want to untie whatever knot there is attached to me.

Maybe disappearing from the typical public spaces might enable me to regain my sense of independence once more. We'll see.