/ 10:09 PM

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Not-so-newsflash: I've got class at 10am tomorrow (or to be precise, later) and I am still wide awake at 4.19am. Welcome to the life of Rasyida Samsudin.

Just staying up because I feel like it and because I have gotten my 4-hour worth of a "nap" when I came back crashing into my bed. 'twas an ugly sight I assume.

Second week of school into the third year. Feelings? Perhaps a little slow on the enthusiasm, but I am slowwwwwllly (but surely) garnering enough determination to even live. The talk of the town at the moment would probably be the Professional Internship coming right up in the next semester. Pretty psyched about it after seeing some of the organisations I would love to pen my name down on and work with.

Other than that, I had been up cleaning my room a little bit. I kind of like my mess but I think in order to create a healthy, renewed and recharged energy in this space to allow the flow of creativity (if any) in me and my work (whatever they may be). That's right, I believe in feng shui, baby.

Anyhoos, I have been watching the ending to L'auberge espagnole over and over again because I feel like I can relate very much to Xavier. And I realise that I am flipping pages to books I've already read and rewatching movies I've already seen just so that I can find myself within the protagonists of these things, you know.

I remember that Dan and I used to argue about how he thinks that I am just desperate to fit my life into these fictional, make-belief stories because I am insecured and have low self-esteem (which may not be something I would argue against defiantly, because I don't even know if it's true or not?). Okay, he did not say it bluntly like that. But it was more like how he thought I am desperate to make my life seem "normal".

But truth is, I guess people can't help but feel like they can relate to a particular experience they read/watch about. The writers' objective sometimes, afterall, is to get people to emphatise with those experiences, right?

At this moment, I am staring into the pitch black dark sky of the night, wondering what the hell I am going to do with my life. And then it hit me, I used to do this a lot, always wondering, but now I wonder back what's the point wondering for years if all this question does is in fact, do nothing?

Okay, fine, so...it does help me make sense of my direction and purpose in life (hurhur like as if), but I came to learn over the course of the past 7months, what's the point thinking too much and not LIVING life itself, right?

And so my principle for this semester is, to live one day a time. And it's true. I am not even printing my lecture notes till I need them and not plan my day till the day before. I like it this way.

Though I must add that I hate how I blog in a journalistic fashion. DUDEEEE scrape it off you mannnn.

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. ~Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973

Okay. I'm gratified for the day. Hah. Adios and sleep I shall.

Good (morning) world.

/ 10:09 PM

Enneagram

Not-so-newsflash: I've got class at 10am tomorrow (or to be precise, later) and I am still wide awake at 4.19am. Welcome to the life of Rasyida Samsudin.

Just staying up because I feel like it and because I have gotten my 4-hour worth of a "nap" when I came back crashing into my bed. 'twas an ugly sight I assume.

Second week of school into the third year. Feelings? Perhaps a little slow on the enthusiasm, but I am slowwwwwllly (but surely) garnering enough determination to even live. The talk of the town at the moment would probably be the Professional Internship coming right up in the next semester. Pretty psyched about it after seeing some of the organisations I would love to pen my name down on and work with.

Other than that, I had been up cleaning my room a little bit. I kind of like my mess but I think in order to create a healthy, renewed and recharged energy in this space to allow the flow of creativity (if any) in me and my work (whatever they may be). That's right, I believe in feng shui, baby.

Anyhoos, I have been watching the ending to L'auberge espagnole over and over again because I feel like I can relate very much to Xavier. And I realise that I am flipping pages to books I've already read and rewatching movies I've already seen just so that I can find myself within the protagonists of these things, you know.

I remember that Dan and I used to argue about how he thinks that I am just desperate to fit my life into these fictional, make-belief stories because I am insecured and have low self-esteem (which may not be something I would argue against defiantly, because I don't even know if it's true or not?). Okay, he did not say it bluntly like that. But it was more like how he thought I am desperate to make my life seem "normal".

But truth is, I guess people can't help but feel like they can relate to a particular experience they read/watch about. The writers' objective sometimes, afterall, is to get people to emphatise with those experiences, right?

At this moment, I am staring into the pitch black dark sky of the night, wondering what the hell I am going to do with my life. And then it hit me, I used to do this a lot, always wondering, but now I wonder back what's the point wondering for years if all this question does is in fact, do nothing?

Okay, fine, so...it does help me make sense of my direction and purpose in life (hurhur like as if), but I came to learn over the course of the past 7months, what's the point thinking too much and not LIVING life itself, right?

And so my principle for this semester is, to live one day a time. And it's true. I am not even printing my lecture notes till I need them and not plan my day till the day before. I like it this way.

Though I must add that I hate how I blog in a journalistic fashion. DUDEEEE scrape it off you mannnn.

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. ~Thomas Szasz, "Personal Conduct," The Second Sin, 1973

Okay. I'm gratified for the day. Hah. Adios and sleep I shall.

Good (morning) world.